Why I cannot hear what you are saying

Several months ago, egged on by Others here, I submitted to a free hearing consultation in Newbridge. The man was thorough enough with his tests and concluded that I had considerable hearing loss and needed one of his hearing aids for five or six grand. He let me try one and showed that it improved my ability to hear quiet sounds. No brainer. But I was and still am not convinced that it would help much in a noisy situation which is where I suffer most.

Since then I purchased a small battery-powered gizmo - basically a microphone, amplifier with volume and tone controls, and earbuds. I improved the latter by purchasing the noise isolating kind that reduce ambient sound.

I suffer from tinnitus, which means that I hear constant "noise" in the higher frequencies. I'm in the lounge at the moment: Ali is sitting opposite me and talking to Caroline on the side. There is no-one else in the room. The level of my tinnitus noise is a little below that of their conversation, and I can make out what they are saying with no problem. But if they were speaking more quietly I might not because the tinnitus noise would mask theirs. Without doubt my gizmo would help in this case, even though its own electronic noise is quite audible to me.

In the praise in our meetings with its loud accompaniment (grand piano, drums, bass, trumpet, guitars), or at community dinner time (think 30 people with small children in a room with a low ceiling) another effect kicks in - my ears start to distort the sound to the point that it can become uncomfortable. When I use my gizmo it amplifies this cacophony and only makes it worse. QED. Even with the noise isolating earbuds which, frankly, do not isolate ambient noise very much.

Distortion is exacerbated when there are many sounds together, because the distortion mixes them up. Technically speaking the non-linearity of distortion can, from two sounds at different frequencies, create new sounds at the sum and at the difference of those frequencies - so two sounds become four, and four become... It is those additional sounds, I think, that make it so uncomfortable.

In the praise in our meetings I find I can actually hear better with a finger in each ear, because it reduces the level below that at which it distorts.

The undamaged human hearing is amazing. It can can distinguish about 10 graduations per semitone over 10 octaves (20Hz to 20,000Hz), and can safely detect sound levels over a 130dB range - that's a ratio of 1 to 10,000,000,000,000 times. And, of course, it is stereophonic so that it can spatially locate sounds.  In contrast the dynamic range of my hearing is severely limited especially at higher frequencies - I can't hear sounds substantially below the threshold imposed by my tinnitus, and sounds louder than an upper threshold distort and become uncomfortable. Which is strange recompense for someone who has commented on the present day departure from hi-fi.

For what it is worth, I believe my legendary Aunt Mary suffered in the same way - she used to plug her ears with cotton wool to reduce the discomfort.

Whilst people try to be understanding, there is without doubt more of a stigma over wearing any sort of hearing aid than, for example, wearing glasses. Kind of on a par with wearing no shoes. People say things behind you back, or give odd glances. Which is why I don't go around with a pair of ear defenders on (except when doing building work).

I said - I'm not deaf!

Meg (the dog) is deaf. Actually she's not quite. If she is not looking your way and you walk up to her across the gravel, she will first hear you when you are within about 3 feet and then suddenly jump. So we try not to do that. Most of the time she lives in another world, a world of silence, broken only when someone gets sufficiently near to per her.

Michael (the human) is not deaf. Not quite. My hearing is impaired, not unusual at my age, so that loud sounds become distorted and deciphering conversation in a crowded room is nigh impossible. During church worship I keep as far from the drum set as is feasible. During community meals I live largely in another world, broken only when someone next to me speaks sufficiently clearly for me to engage.  I don't mind this, except that it's a bit antisocial and I sometimes miss what's going on.

In this morning's church we were encouraged to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit and were told that it was not good enough to talk only to the Father or Jesus. I chewed this over. I don't think I consciously differentiate in my prayers between the various parts of the Godhead. Does this mean I am missing something? I reckon I have some understanding of the different functions of each part, but it does seem a bit strange to me to address "the Holy Spirit" and I don't see any Biblical precedent for it and so I left confused.

Hard of hearing

I may have mentioned that I have suffered tinnitus for many years now. This constant background noise sets a lower limit to what external sound levels I can hear. In addition loud noise tends to distort in my ears. So for me the so called cocktail effect works in reverse - the more people speaking at once the less likely I am to be able to make out anything, so that I tend to retire, give up, at corporate mealtimes.

After church today we had a special lunch in honour of a student who has just graduated. I had been cooking vast quantities of chips in the kitchen so when I finally made it into the dining area the meal was already in full progress and there was a lot of talking going on. The noise level hit me rather like the heat can when entering a sauna. It was uncomfortable. So I went upstairs to get some ear plugs. A few minutes after returning those sitting nearby noticed and I was conscious of laughter at my expense. Not nasty - after all we are Christians - but laughter none the less.

Why is is reasonably socially acceptable to be lame, or blind, but having a hearing deficiency or going about without shoes on is not? Could I claim discrimination?

Dead as a Dodo

My proverbial namesake

Deaf? Actually, not that bad, thankyou. I am not extinct (yet). And yet I struggle to hear when the noise level is high. Like when we eat together, 35 of us including three infants who can be LOUD. Often it is actually uncomfortable and I find myself withdrawing from conversation, not even trying, and occasionally even leaving the room. And I note that Meg's hearing is getting worse. I habitually run (barefoot of course) first thing Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Simply opening the latch on the back door used to be enough to wake Meg, some 30 yards away in her kennel, but now she doesn't hear and I have therefore given up taking her with me on my morning runs. I do not want to call out loudly for fear of waking the more sensible of our folk who stay in bed.

It is not so much sheer volume that causes my hearing difficulty as cacophony. I am very pleased with most of Celibidache's Bruckner because I can generally make out the individual instruments: the recordings I have have clarity in this respect. But with some music, especially home-grown such as our praise services, all the sounds can muddle together and become, for me, harsh and verging on painful. And why does music now-a-days have to have constant drum beat?