Chocolate

Yesterday I overheard my wife extolling my self control at being able to open a bar of chocolate, eat a few squares, and then return it to the draw for another day. I hasten to add that my self control is not as good as she claimed.

I may have inherited the chocolate deal from my father. As a child I was amazed at how he could keep an easter egg unfinished until the next Easter. He had a special cupboard in his bedroom under the stairs leading to the loft - it was strictly out of bounds although I did manage to fleetingly see the interior a few times. His box of Meccano was kept here (I now have this relic) and, joy of joys, various tin-plate O-gauge locomotives and rolling stock. Was it here that he kept his cache of unconsumed chocolate?

My daughter (and oh-the-delight-of-my-eyes) gave me 10 small bars (the sort that used to cost 6d when I was a boy) of Irish Cadburys Dairy Milk (CDM) on my birthday - this was several years ago - and I am eating the last bar at the moment. Even way past its sell-by date it still tastes supreme. By "eating" I mean I had a few squares yesterday and the rest is awaiting a suitable opportunity in my bedside cabinet. You may wonder why all times are not suitable for eating chocolate. The reason is maybe because I live in community. If you bring chocolate to the communal lounge (some do, I even have myself on rare occasions) it sort of vanishes. You end up with maybe one square if you're lucky.  There again it seems antisocial to disappear to one's bedroom to consume the stuff without the-help-of-others. Such are the joys of community.

Without doubt Irish CDM is superior to the UK equivalent. My daughter in law recently arranged a blind taste test and I correctly identified the Irish one. At one time you could tell the difference by the colour of the foil wrapping, whether gold (Irish) or purple (UK), but with modern wrapping the only clue is the small print saying where the bar was manufactured. Cadburys online are cagey about any difference claiming the recipe is the same but the milk is local so could contribute a difference. And of course Cadburys has been taken over by Mondelez so who knows what effect that change has made on the product.

Here are two responses to my querying the subject with the manufacturer:

email received Jan 2016
The Irish business is expert in manufacturing Cadbury chocolate tablets, Flake, wafer and extruded chocolate products. Our range of Irish made products includes; 8-square Cadbury Dairy Milk, Turkish, Tiffin, Golden Crisp, Mint Crisp, Wholenut, Fruit & Nut, Caramello, as well as; Time Out, Snack Wafer, Moro, Flake, Flake 99, Twirl, Twirl Bites and Miniature Hero units. There are no plans to change any recipes or processes in Coolock.

email received Dec 2018
You can check which Cadbury products are made in Ireland by looking at the packaging for our products. Our packaging will include a batch code beside the best before date which begins with three letters. For example, our Coolock Factory products begin with OCO. I hope this information helps and if you have any further questions please do contact us again.

Neither of which says anything about the special taste of the Irish product.

At the "duty-free" shopping area at Dublin airport you can purchase CDM in various sized bars but recently I was unable to find a single bar made in Ireland. I queried this with one of the store keepers suggesting that surely at Dublin airport of all places they would want to promote the local product - the sales person looked at me with incomprehension and as though I were mad. And here in the community folk at least know about my fetish but as far as I know no one shares my views. Which is all very strange.

But then they do not share my views on Lyles Golden Syrup or Evaporated Milk.

An ancient recipe

I invented this recipe in my early childhood. It is one of my better inventions. Are you ready to be amazed?

The most important ingredient

The second ingredient, a rectangular trifle sponge

You will need a sharp knife to...

cut a thin lid off the sponge

and a sharp spoon

to excavate a large void in the thicker, lower part -
the more material you can remove, the better.

Here's one I did earlier

Reverently consider the Golden Syrup

Fill the spoon to overflowing with this wonderful
 substance and pour carefully into the void

This picture is self explanatory

The first spoonful is almost done

But wait, more is required...

Spoon-full number two

We want the filling to be generous

Too much, and it gets hard to eat

Make sure you leave enough on the spoon which
can now be consumed as a foretaste

Ready for final assembly. Observant readers will
notice the waste material - this can be eaten
but I suggest you bin it

Pop the top on and, hey presto, bon apetite

The proof of the pudding

is in the eating

It does not disappoint

Soon there will be only memories, but good ones

So now you have it. You can make your own - it really is not that difficult. Those of my readers in the USA please note that corn syrup will simply not do as a substitute for Lyle's Golden Syrup. There is absolutely no comparison. For variations on the recipe, try smothering with clotted cream. Another variation is to omit the trifle sponge. This will reduce cost without affecting the taste overmuch. Enjoy!