Fiducial?

I recently joined the youngsters in watching Disney's latest offering Raya and the Last Dragon. I loved the beautiful virtual scenery and generally enjoyed the plot and noted the morals. This review pointed out that it was refreshing to have the heroin Raya depicted with fatal flaws from the outset. The theme throughout the movie is the need for trust even when it demands the ultimate sacrifice. For a quick synopsis see here. 

The rest of this post is substantially what I posted a few weeks ago but then withdrew for further editing. It felt like I was handling dynamite, even if my desire was only to speak plainly about my misgivings. By writing as I do, I hope that, just possibly, my experience might resonate for some reader and, by knowing that they are not alone, bring encouragement. There are two things going on: my own personal struggle, and that in the context of the church community in which I live.

Fiducial: from the Latin fiducia ‘trust’: a standard of reference, founded on faith or trust. After identifying the two or more fiducial marks on the artwork of a printed circuit board (PCB), an automatic pick'n'place assembly robot can determine the PCB's exact position and orientation and thus populate its component parts precisely. Those tiny but readily identifiable marks are thus the basic of trust.

Three fiducials (stock photo)

Revelation: Greek ἀποκάλυψιν apokalupsis: uncovering, unveiling, disclosure: principally used of the revelation of Jesus Christ, especially a particular manifestation previously unknown... By inference revelations come via unexpected (e.g. supernatural) channels.

Divine impartation, recognition, revelation?

In Michelangelo's fresco God's finger is not actually touching Adam's. A father who does not physically touch his son. And there's the rub. If only I, you, we could touch or be touched by God tangibly and know assuredly. But he is spirit and we are mere flesh: chalk and cheese, oil and water. And yet John claims that God so loved the world and that we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled. But I am not John and anyway that was a while ago. Where, for me, are the fiducial marks?

In the book of Hebrews "Hall of Faith" we read that without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. This circular reasoning is the sort of thing atheists build castles on, whilst theists conclude that by reasoning alone man cannot attain to God. Which is all very well but wasn't it God who, dangling the carrot, first instilled what we now call rationale in mankind?

Baron Munchausen bootstrapping

Folk who too easily claim that God has revealed to them this or that make me suspicious. And yet, perhaps without revelation we humans cannot rise above the limitations of our carnal reasoning which, at best, follow endless logical rabbit trails. The callous assertions of Big Bang or unassisted evolution presented as gospel truth being examples. Argumentum ex culo and the Münchhausen trilemma. Perhaps what we call logic, valuable as it may be within the sphere of humanity, just isn't up to arguing the existence of God?

Like I said in a previous post - there can be no (rational) conclusion. Even so, for me the Puddleglum argument, though weakened, still holds. And that's why I am currently still rather precariously clinging onto what he calls his play-world whilst continuing to search for fiducials.

Mind you, there are some examples fiducials in the Bible: the annual feast of Passover to remind the children of Israel of their miraculous deliverance from Egypt; Samuel's Ebenezer stone which was to remind them that Hitherto hath the LORD helped us; the feast of Purim in the book of Esther that these days should be remembered and kept throughout every generation, every family, every province, and every city.  And of course Paul argues that the visible creation itself is an undeniable fiducial unless one convinces oneself otherwise.

I suppose the celebrations of Christmas and Easter were meant to be modern day fiducials but sadly their association has become lost in commercialisation for most folk. Nevertheless the dating terms BC and AD irrevocably point to the birth of Jesus Christ even if the early church made some errors on the exact dates and mixed them up with pagan festivals, and even though modern man tries expunge all such references with the replacement terms CE and BCE.

Some while ago I posted about a boy we know with leukaemia. His condition has been stabilised by drugs and the family are enjoying every extra day they have with him in reasonably normality. But the "forever healing" they and I have been asking for hasn't yet been confirmed, indeed I am not even sure how the medical profession could confirm it. But I'm still praying for his forever healing, still feeling that lump in my throat when I think of him, still keep asking the Eternal to "show yourself to me". And so I come back to, like Raya, will I still trust even though I might never see a fiducial that satisfies my intellect?

And then there is my context in the community where I live, a group of over thirty souls living and worshipping in close contact with each other with all (well, some) things in common. An underlying premise is that each member should hear God and obey. Which is all very well if only one could, or at least if only one could disentangle the ruminations of one's own mind. So in the absence of so doing one can end up either as a rebel or as a man pleaser.  

We have been using a cherry picker to paint our rather large residence. It's kind of scary that the basket can hold two adults and, at full extent, is counterbalanced only by the weight of the base unit. And kind of scary when it swings from side to side. One tells oneself that this machine was designed by capable engineers with due regard for safety so that it cannot topple over. An example of fiducial and trust - but certainly not blind trust.

Belief and Diesel

I've always thought the advice to the Philippian jailer was over simplistic when he said: Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved. To give credit, the Greek pistis "belief", often translated "faith", includes the idea of wholly putting one's trust in something or someone. Whereas the modern English "belief" is sometimes much weaker as in "I believe it is going to rain this afternoon". So the above might better read "Put your trust wholly in the..."

One of our diesel vehicles had inadvertently been topped up with petrol (maybe 50% mix). I did not realise this until well on the way to Dublin to take Ali to an appointment. The engine ran lumpy but we got there, turned the engine off and did what we came for, but then I couldn't start it again. I got talking to the guy who we called out to drain the tank and we started discussing religion. He claimed to be a humanist atheist and said he believed only what he could see proof for, which definitely didn't include God. But apparently it did include some very wacky things like UFO's and life on other planets and the Jesus story being no more than a rehash of the Egyptian god Horus and did I know that Jesus condoned killing his enemies? When I got home and checked up on his points it quickly became apparent that there was a good deal less proof for his ideas than my Christian ones. But he was not the kind of gent that would be easily persuaded against his will and I'm not much use in debating (my brain works too slowly).  So we parted company each wondering how the other could possibly believe what he claimed.

Rachel Nuwer argues that the reason a god-shaped hole seems to exist in our species’ neuropsychology is due to a quirk of our evolution.  She says we have two very basic forms of thought: System 1 and System 2. System 2 evolved relatively recently. It’s the voice in our head – the narrator who never seems to shut up – that enables us to plan and think logically. System 1, on the other hand, is intuitive, instinctual and automatic... It makes us prone to looking for patterns to better understand our world, and to seek meaning for seemingly random events like natural disasters or the death of loved ones. Hence religion and her conclusion “There will always be people who believe, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they remain the majority”. But implied is that she doesn't.

In their paper "The biochemistry of belief" the authors quote Anton Chekhov as saying “Man is what he believes” and summarise that Beliefs are basically the guiding principles in life that provide direction and meaning in life. By way of example they mention the placebo effect: Medical history is replete with numerous reported cases where placebos were found to have a profound effect on a variety of disorders. One such astounding case was that of a woman suffering from severe nausea and vomiting. Objective measurements of her gastric contractions indicated a disrupted pattern matching the condition she complained of. Then a ‘new, magical, extremely potent’ drug was offered to her, which would, the doctors proclaimed, undoubtedly cure her nausea. Within a few minutes, her nausea vanished! 

We are motivated by belief at many levels. I can get out of breath jogging to my daughter's place a quarter mile down the road. When I tackle a long run like Church Mountain I have to first believe that I can do it (running barefoot with significant ascent and descent) and so far this has worked. Indeed I have just returned from such a run. I made it back albeit feeling like I couldn't have gone a step further, quod erat demonstrandum...

 distance 14.54 miles

 average speed moving 4.94 mph

 elevation gain 733m

 maximum elevation 541m

My track 

My lake, viewed from the summit

Looking south, the bump on the horizon centre left is Baltinglass Hill

What if the tenets of Christianity were untrue? Perhaps it might still be beneficial to believe in them, as in my recent post does it matter what one believes. This of course is the Puddleglum argument. But how much better if it the object of our belief could be shown to be true. And here's the catch: what does it take to show that something is true?  We take for granted that things we can sense are true, although even that is debatable. The rest: the makeup of an atom, the distance to far-off galaxies, the big bang and evolution (or creation) of man, the resurrection of Jesus, and whether the ladder I am about to climb will hold my weight... we take on trust. We have to believe else we cannot function. Whether or not the likes of Richard Dawkins agrees, it is clear to me that even atheists have to believe / have faith in their tenets.

Of people set in their ways Jesus remarked: neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead. And such conviction apparently comes only as a result of action taken by God on our behalf. Which places me in an unenviable position if I happen to doubt, as I do.

Walks and Runs during UK trip One

Running through my beloved Uffculme water meadows

We went by ferry and car, the main purpose to visit Ali's mum and other friends and relations, especially my sisters who I have not seen for ages. But interspersed were the usual walks and barefoot runs for which this blog is famed. My first run was a mere 6.7 miles around Uffculme.

Next was a walk with Ali's sister starting in the Rickmansworth Aquadrome.

Grand Union Canal

Coal tax post

Julia contemplating Japanese Knotweed

Inscribed on a canal barge

One of the several lakes

Jack London

At school my English teacher would occasionally hand out a list of a zillion book titles that literate boys were meant to have read. Generally I could find two, maybe three, titles that I recognised. But two books that immediately appealed to me back then were Jack London's Call of the Wild and White Fang.  (Another was Laurie Lee's Cider with Rosie). It is the power of description in the books that I loved.

And so it was with expectation that I recently picked up Martin Eden. In a lone battle struggling to become a writer whilst standing against convention Martin eventually finds financial success but the novel ends with him loosing purpose and committing suicide. I found the ending unexpected and utterly bleak.

As an atheist Jack London is quoted as saying:

"I believe that when I am dead, I am dead. I believe that with my death I am just as much obliterated as the last mosquito you and I squashed".

Like Thomas, I have plenty of doubts and loose ends. But I find this statement untenable, just as I found the novel bleak. As I have mentioned in my page on faith I go along with Puddleglum's sentiments:

"We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a playworld which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it."

It has been said that man was made with a God shaped hole which only He can fill. It would seem that most people do not agree with this, but then most people believe that a diamond is a girl's best friend.