Doritos

One of the difficulties in writing a blog like this that draws rather randomly from my life experiences is trying not to repeat myself unduly. Have I mentioned before my dislike of parties?

From an early age I have disliked parties. There was one occasion I remember in particular - my older sister and I had been invited to one of her friends' birthday party and I did not want to go. I was maybe 6 years old at the time. I made such a fuss that in the end my parents gave up and I stayed at home. One up for me. And from that time on my choice has been to neither attend nor throw parties (not even at my 18th or 21st birthday).

On the other hand my best friend at school and later college threw parties that I could at least endure. I suppose I agreed to go for his sake but, on arriving, I discovered that no-one was forced to do anything, there were decent nibbles and the music was classical not rock. Unlike my childhood memories of being thrown into a noisy throng of largely unfamiliar children, being forced to play silly and embarrassing games with them, and then to eat ridiculous "party food" (thinly spread white sandwiches, little jellies in pleated paper cups, bland sponge cake and the like).

In later life well meaning friends and relations have thrown surprise parties - on one birthday Ali invited a small selection of the kids I was teaching at the time - I enjoyed that because I knew them all and there were only a handful. And, besides, there were Doritos.

And on our silver wedding anniversary the church did a party - too many people this time but at least I knew all of them and there was no loud music so it was OK.

Now-a-days my hearing impediment adds a further abrasion - groups of more than about four people become unmanageable because I cannot tell what folk are saying. If loud music is involved all chance of conversation is lost and as voices are raised the noise level borders on being painful. I take any excuse to get out (e.g. going to the loo, or checking up on the car outside). Not that it matters too much because, generally, in such gatherings the talk is small and that's another reason I hate parties. What, I ask, is the point of spending good time in talking or listening to nonsense?  You will see from this that I am incurably selfish too. But if everyone in the world were entirely selfless and always preferring the other person life would be very dull and nothing worthwhile would get done. "No, you have the chocolate, I couldn't possibly because I like it too much" (and vice versa).

Not that I dislike loud music per se. I dislike music that is constantly loud or, indeed, constantly anything. I also like apple pie but I wouldn't want to always eat apple pie (breakfast, lunch and dinner) - well, not after the first day or two anyway. Music, like any other experience, should embrace extremes of contrast.

Here's someone else who hates parties.