Et tu Brute?

This post might seem like a "poor me" or parts of it even like boasting. Think that if you want, but I am trying to make a point.

If you know me or you've followed my blog you'll know that I excelled in my school A-levels. My parents told me to do my best, so I did. Although I grant that, in my O-levels, I failed History and only just passed English Literature even though I could (and still can) quote from memory Et tu Brute? and Let me have men about me who are fat... yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look... such men are dangerous. My English teacher had said quotes were like the plums in the pudding.

I excelled at college too, leaving with a First Class Honours degree. And did pretty well in my first job working in the prestigious BBC Research Department during which I was granted MIET and CEng which title I have retained (by paying an annual subscription) until recently.

After a few years doing odd jobbing building work while playing at radical church, I started my own electronics design business and completed a number of projects for various customers. To facilitate this work I have a home office cum workshop and have taught myself how to hand solder down to 0.4mm pitch, how to program embedded devices in assembler or 'C' and some PC programming as well.

And then, all of a sudden I retired and electronics work dried up. True, I continue to provide occasional technical support for that one active project, but otherwise my office and its equipment and stock of components has become largely redundant.

I had wondered about teaching - trying to pass on the skills I have learned, for the benefit of the next generation. But so far no one appears to be interested. The parents of young children in the community here have decided to quit the assisted home schooling we have assumed to be the norm for oh so many years, so it looks like there will be no need for my usual maths and physics teaching here. So instead I am helping my son doing some building renovation work here, and stoke the wood-burning boiler, weed the drive and mend things around the place that others have broken. Come the summer (if we haven't already missed it) I may take a day or two to go exploring now that I have a Senior Citizen free travel pass. But otherwise it is a strange feeling, this being retired is. I have always considered myself as being highly motivated and never, dare I even utter the word, bored. No, I'm not bored, really I'm not, but sometimes I'm not sure that I am fully motivated and I wonder what life is all about. We come and go like a ripple on a stream.

Günter Wand

I don't listen to Buckner symphonies very often for fear of them becoming too familiar. Like - too much of a good thing.  Also it's hard to justify a time slot long enough to listen to a complete symphony so I tend to listen a movement at a time. Tonight it was Günter Wand's rendition of Buckner's final masterpiece and it was truly awesome. I say all this because it seems wrong that others should not get to enjoy it, either because of ignorance, claimed distaste or having "more important" things to do.

My link takes you to the 3rd movement but, if you have time, you really ought to rewind to the beginning.

 

Spring Lambs

Every year I have to see if I can still manage to complete the Church Mountain route. Because I am not getting any younger. I won't claim that I ran all the way, but I did make it there and back, barefoot of course. Nothing new about the route but still delightful there, up and down, apart from the drudgery of the return along minor roads some with loose chippings (ouch!): 14.7 miles, average speed moving 3.8mph, elevation gain 561m, total time taken 3:50, and made it back in just enough time for a quick shower before dinner. Oh, and I stopped at the summit for no more than a minute or so, long enough only to exchange pleasantries with a young couple there.

My track

Here are some photos including one of spring lambs!

Pitch magnet

I have mentioned that I suffer from tinnitus. It manifests as white noise in the upper register and is always present but most of the time I can ignore it. It is not so annoying as to prevent me carrying on a normal life, except when my surroundings are quiet or when I want to listen to a quietly spoken voice or music. Additionally, but related, is the discomfort I feel in a noisy environment such as at meal-time or the cacophony in praise-time in church.

I enjoy listening to music (my tastes are mostly classical) and playing the piano (though not well). One effect, doubtless caused by the tinnitus, that I have recently noticed is that I am unable, or at least find it difficult, to detect the pitch of a quiet note, particularly if it is in the lower register. For example, when sight reading music I know when I have played a wrong note - unless I am playing it very quietly. And then I am at least aware of the sound but I cannot be sure that it is the right pitch. Probably this is because the volume of the tinnitus is partially obscuring the note. I like to harmonise when singing in church but, again, I can be unsure that I am singing the correct pitch. 

For someone who loves listening to and making music this is kind of scary. Like, where will it end?  Am I to share Beethoven's destiny (though without the musical acumen)?

Apparently this is a known effect as in this site which suggests that "tinnitus acts as something of a pitch magnet, drawing the voice or instrument to inaccurate notes."